


hazy

by orphan_account



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Blood, Decapitation, Gore, M/M, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:24:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>shinji faces kaworu's headless body. it doesn't matter what he does with it. it's all only just a dream.<br/>right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	hazy

Shinji didn't know why he was alone in the hospital room. He didn't know why his head hurt like crazy. He didn't know why everything seemed so distant. So surreal. Not that the feeling was anything new for Shinji. But something about this was different. It seemed both completely solid, yet also a dream. Something nonexistant, yet so real. So painfully real.

He was sitting on the cot, staring at his hand as it was clutching the baby blue blanket neatly tucked on top of it. He felt its woven softness in his palm, but part of it didn't feel like it was really there. He knew it was solid, but wouldn't be surprised if his hand passed right through the fabric. Or through everything. He could fall right through the bed, through the patterned floor. Into a void of nothingness.

His head shifted up, looking around the room. Empty, white, one wall featuring a window looking out over a parking lot. The walls were blank. But there was a chair, sitting there across from him.

He felt a tingle run down his spine in shock, and he choked back a gasp.

A pale, thin, fragile-looking figure sat upright, hands folded in its lap. It was very recognizable as the body of the 17th angel. Shinji had known that body. The shape had been burned into his brain. Ever since the day Shinji had watched Kaworu Nagisa's head detatch itself from his long, thin neck.

And that's exactly how the body appeared in front of him. Kaworu's perfect body, all completely intact, but the moist wound at the neck where the head should have been.

Shinji didn't want to cry. Shinji didn't want to scream. It wouldn't mean anything. He was just in a dream. He'd had plenty of dreams of facing the lifeless corpse of the Fifth Child. None of this was real.

But this time it felt real. It felt like he really was facing the corpse of the boy he had once held so dear. His slender waist. His long, thin fingers, gently intertwined with one another, laying on his long, thin legs. He appeared as a flawless doll. A perfect little model with a bloodied stump for a neck. 

Shinji felt no fear. Gazing on at each detail of the boy in front of him. No fear. No sadness. Not even the slightest inch of regret or contempt or disgust. Staring at the cadaver only flooded him with one feeling. Arousal.

Shinji was feeling shameless sexual stimulation from doing nothing but looking at it. He could feel the crotch of his pants begin to strain a little as his cock began to harden. He shuffled up from the bed, his feet hitting the floor with a muffled tap. He walks towards the body, each step feeling like an eternity until he reaches the body, his dick now aching against his zipper.

He hesitates before slowly unzipping his pants. He pulls them down to fit under his cock, now exposed, tall and mere inches away from Kaworu.

Shinji's hands were shaking with anticipation. He lifted them, wringing them around Kaworu's pale little neck. To his surprise, the body was frighteningly warm. He gazed down the wet, red hole of Kaworu's throat. Breathing heavily, he folds the body down so the throat aligns with his dick, before lifting it to the hole, and pushing inside.

His breath hitches and he lets out a loud moan. Where there people around to hear him? Was he alone in the hospital? He didn't consider this earlier, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stop. His cock was all the way inside Kaworu's tight, hot throat. He couldn't hold himself back.

He begins to thrust, whimpering with each motion. His hips begin jerking faster and faster, trying to slam into the damp opening as deep as he can. It was so soft, so warm, so tight, and felt so _good_. Shinji's whimpers slowly grew into whines, and whines grew into full on sobs. He was dizzy. Hell, he felt like he was going to throw up. But through the nauseousness he felt even more compelled to thrust harder.

His hands clenched where he was wringing Kaworu's neck, making the hole even tighter. Shinji let out a long, needy moan, tears forming in his eyes. He was thrusting as hard as he could, before pulling back, then slamming in for one last time, clenching Kaworu's neck as hard as he could.

He let out something bordering on a scream, before coming hard. His hips jerked, he couldn't breathe, he was seeing stars. Tears clouded his vision, and streamed down his face.

He stared down at his dick and the orifice it was in. Blood and semen was trickling down his thighs, and Kaworu's pale little neck. He was now completely aware as to what he had just done.

It hit him all at once. The self contempt. The fear. The pain. The regret. The bitter taste in his mouth after realizing.

He screamed, loud. Tears were now gushing down his face. He could feel himself about to vomit. Why? Why had he done it? What specifically had compelled him to fuck the angel's corpse? No, _Kaworu's_ corpse. Every piece of him begged for this to be a dream, as real as it felt.

He sobbed and sobbed. He cried and screamed and gasped until his voice was hoarse and his eyes burned. He pulled his cock from Kaworu, fell onto the ground, bent over, and threw up. Why?

Why?

He collapsed. 

A faint, calm, familiar, borderline joyous voice echoed in his ear. The voice of the being he had just sodomized.

"It's alright. You got exactly what you wanted."

Did he? Was this what he wanted?

Shinji screamed again, with all of his remaining might. He saw stars and black spots growing bigger and bigger, consuming his vision.

Everything went black.


End file.
